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Anemone

by Mia Sheard

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1.
Get out of bed, we're going to the sea. You're not dead yet, so turn off the T.V. There are none of your foes there, just anemones. Sand in your toes and maybe a cool breeze. Nothing is bad 'til thinking makes it so. You can choose love, or fear everything you know. But you've got faith, you've got some hope. It's a castle made, it's suntanning ladies. It's oil spilled under Pleiades. It's drawn in by a needy wave. It's spat out when he's done. It's a salty grave if you finally succumb to the sea. Nothing is bad 'til thinking makes it so. You can choose love, or fear everything you know. But you've got faith, you've got some hope.
2.
3.
Sunday 04:12
We woke up on Sunday, beautiful Sunday in my bed/ Who knew by Monday you'd be dead?/ No painful heartache, no sad goodbyes/ Though you seem colder now, you're mine/ It rained all that Sunday/ Washed all the colours down the drain/ But the blues in your big, brown eyes remained/ No painful heartache, no sad goodbyes/ No long betrayal, no little lies/ No lonely kisses, no curt replies/ No sea of "miss yous", no ocean cried/ Though you seem distant now, you're mine
4.
Carnival 05:37
I'll fit in a box to be sawed in half/ I'll reel around for the laughs, laughs, laughs/ I'll try the trapeze once, but it doesn't look easy/ I'd like to believe that the hands would be there/ But I'm more relaxed with the dancing bear, who's drugged anyway and soon to be lured to the taxidermist's private lair/ I'm candyfloss-pink-in-the-cheeks when I hear the fickle crowd and the cheers, cheers, cheers/ It sounds just like money/ It sounds just like something that's good for the ears/ I wrestle the midgets to try to feel tall/ I secretly wait for the barker's call/ But he likes his own voice/ He likes his own most of all/ I'm a pachyderm burden between the towns/ I can't even laugh with the suicidal clowns/ And the fat lady's singing, but all I can think of is "I can't hear a sound, not a sound"/ Stilted, I walk myself into the ring/ Drawn to the centre of everything/ Puffed up and hopeful again, and again, and again/ And this is the carnival I'm in/
5.
A Body Needs 03:53
6.
Monkeys 05:07
7.
Small 04:25
Who did you hope for? Who else could it be? Who would've followed you if it hadn't been me? And all of your beautiful chords, in all of your ivory keys, still hang on the living room walls, still linger like dust/ Where did you go to when you left me at home? Your silence: A sickening song - won't leave me alone/ And all of your beautiful chords, in all of your ivory keys, still hang on the living room walls, still cling to the burgundy chairs, still linger like dust at the top of the stairs/ Why don't you remember? Why can you not recall? I know, by heart, every note you played to me when I was small/ And all of your beautiful chords in all of your ivory keys still hang on the living room walls, still cling to the burgundy chairs, still linger like dust at the top of the stairs/
8.
Find every unkind word I've spilled. Line them up and have them killed. I've made a mess around the world. I've planted mines, stolen pearls. I was a choirboy in my heart singing "The Temple of God". Was it the dissonance I made, or the fact you could not bear the part? Forgive me. Gather up all my poisoned darts should I find I've grown accustomed to the sport. I was a quiet girl in my heart really. Was it the white noise that I made, or the fact you could not hear the part? Forgive me. What if you should let it go, would they think you were crazy? "You've gotta let that bitch know you're not weak; you're not going to take it!" You've tied me to the Catherine Wheel. You see the stripes but you're not healed. What are you waiting to feel? I can't go through this again and again. I want to be the one to help you mend 'cause I know you need loving, too. Fill in the holes of my defense. Fill in the holes in the walls, in your life. Cover up the evidence. I was alive once in my heart, believe me. Was it the rhythm that I made, or the fact it all just fell apart? Forgive me.
9.
Goodbye my baby, you're too hard to obey/ I got so sleepy trying i had to crawl away/ No shattered glass, no cymbal clang/ Nothing but a squeak when tired armies try to speak/ Sleep now, my baby, that all is said and done/ Let's hope the grass grows back to cover up the guns/ No ticker tape, no marching band, no cheering in the street when tired trumpets blow defeat/ And good hearts go on like an under-watered cactus, or a boring movie/ But I'm having fun/ I'm not tired anymore and it was just an American dream/ Goodbye my baby/ Godspeed

about

Cover painting by Eric Mathew.

credits

released January 1, 2002

Produced by Mia Sheard and Howard Redekopp. Engineered by Howard Redickopp. Mixed by David Travers-Smith, except "Catherine Wheel" mixed by Michael Phillip Wojewoda. All songs written by Mia Sheard except "Catherine Wheel" written by Mia Sheard & Ryan Granville-Martin. All songs © SOCAN 2002.

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MIA SHEARD Toronto, Ontario

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